I blame Dragon for not being at the mall right now, and having to wait a few more hours
Sano: I would suggest Manic Panic. It doesn't last super long [6-8 weeks, according to most, and I've had mine over a month, and it's fading a little bit finally, so it's good], if you really feel like you must dye your hair. [My roots grew out again, so there's a black stripe, I'm like a reverse skunk, only dark pink]
Maybe you're just not looking for the right girls?
As for a maid, I'd suggest a cosplaying girlfriend who loves to clean? then she could dress as a maid, and clean for you? -shrugs-
Yay for hugs :3